trying to see the good...

this sign is hanging up in our lounge at work. it makes me smile.

Stace you challenged me this week.
Trying to find something good, and something to be thankful for everyday, is hard.
But i tried. and through the exhaustion and frustration here's what i've come up with...

monday...thankful for loud strong baby hearts! :) i've never been crazy about clinic, but seeing the look on people's faces when i find the baby's heart and they can hear their little one....can connect for that brief 5 seconds, and they breathe a sigh of relief... is pretty awesome.

tuesday... thankful for patients with a sense of humor, for upper levels who teach and treat me like a person and not just an intern...
...and for the fact that i went home two hours later than normal, and I was still in a good mood :) i really do love what im doing underneath all the goo.
 
wednesday...today im thankful for new friends. for working with a group of interns that i like, not everyone is that lucky. our group is great, different personalities but all in this same scary boat together. we've helped each other, we build each other up, we eat lunch with each other so its not so scary when you're eating surrounded by attendings and its kinda awkward.

thursday...today i was actually thankful for clinic, gyn clinic. I felt like i made a difference. I know right how strange does that sound? i made a difference at someones annual exam?? riiiight. but i really did feel that way. I'm sure eventually pap smears will bore me but for now, i dont mind them.
...today im also thankful for lectures days so my feet can rest. oh and rest they need. good for the soul.

friday...today I'm thankful for something a little different. I'm thankful for a bad situation, a heartbreaking situation, which is strangely enough bringing my heart closer to God.

saturday...thankful for the moment when i was doubting my abilities while on call. i'll made a "sarcastic" comment about myself i can't even remember what it was but one of the nurses said.."yeah but the nurses like you so that's all that matters." that was good.
...also for young patients who have no idea what giving birth entails and how emotionally and physically taxing it can be, who look at me with all sincerity when its over and say, "thank you, thank you so much"....also good.

sunday...thankful for my husband. plain and simple. who takes care of me, who worries about driving home after 27 hours of work, who surprises me with knights of columbus donuts from the fair (so sad that i missed the fair, i really thought about it all night on call, boo.) and who acts as my alarm clock and lets me sleep another hour after he tries to wake me up. yup, i'll keep him.

maybe we'll do a repeat next week. ill try. i will. trying to look at life with "non intern eyes"

something to think about. watching a tv show right now and heard the main person say....
"maybe im allowed to be this happy." what does that mean? its something to think about. do i feel that way sometimes? do you?