i'm about to lose it people!!!

Has anyone seen the movie Failure to Launch? Remember the wierd roommate who kept trying to kill the annoying bird outside her window? That's what I feel like right now.
I'm trying to write a paper reflecting on the autopsy that I watched this year and all I can hear is this STUPID A&$ bird flying into our back patio door OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER.

Now for anyone who also reads mamaw's blog you'll remember she had this same problem a few weeks ago....."slow learner".... and her solution to the problem was to open the curtains. This usually works because the bird can no longer see its reflection and think it's fighting some other bird that looks strangly similar to itself.
[i've never fully understood this concept. are they really that stupid? i've never once glanced in the mirror and thought-girl you better check yo'self cause it's about to rowdy in here. never. not once.]

So, before I went acting a fool over this stupid bird I thought I'd give the old move the curtain trick a try. No such luck. That was about FOUR DAYS AGO. This bird had already been flying into the door all weekend. On Monday Matthew went up and sprayed off the glass and cleaned off the deck. Why the deck you ask? Oh! Because this stupid bird has run into the door so much that it Pooed itself all over the deck and a chair, multiple times. Nasty. It already looks gross again.

This bird is consistent too, to say the least. After he flies into the door a few times he gets a little tired [think about this, you would too if you ran into a wall repeatedly for DAYS] but when he's tired, he doesn't give up, or leave......NO. Oh NO. He sits at the bottom of the door, on the deck, and pecks at the window!!

OH MY GOSH!!! Seriously, I just had about 5 minutes of peace

and now that dang thing is back. >:(

I kid you not, I'm borderline ready to go out there with a broom and act like a psycho person because this bird is

DRIVING--ME--FREAKIN'--CRAZY!!!!!